Suzette has something to say...

May 23, 2009

aahh! the infamous words spoken by my sister on monday evening may 18th 2009, it was then i realized how my life "should" change. we all have a destiny, we get up each day trying to figure out if today is the day we are going to get there....however, deep into your day you come across many reasons to give up on the journey. the economy stinks, i am not good enough, i am not smart enough, i am getting too old, i have children, i am sick, i am tired, i dont have enough money, i am lazy, i had a terrible up bringing. i can sit at my computer all day and write pages and pages of reasons i should not go forward. but where does it take me, where do i end up? will i end up in a hospital room like jack and morgon on "the bucket list", hoping to take one more breath before the cancer gets me completely??? hoping if i have one more chance that i can make out a list of things i really want... and then try and accomplish them??? isnt that what i was supposed to be doing in the first place? shouldnt i have been crossing things off from the beginning. what got in my way???

"i got in my way" because i was not strong enough to look at myself and turn my back, for fear of being alone, unloved, ignored, possibly made fun of. i choose to travel the road most taken, the road that brings no joy, i was not strong enough to be the orchestra leader....to turn my back from the crowd so i could make beautiful music... the music of my life, thats right my life.

so in a moments time with the whisper of 4 little words, i got out of my bed ran to my computer and began to give my self a lesson, a lesson that i preach all day long to friends, neighbors, clients, any one that gets in my path, i give them the courage to risk taking the journey, no matter how hard it may be no matter what gets in your way... life truly is a bucket list, but i dont want to wait to the end to receive the reward...there is no guarantee on our life...as jack nicholson said in the movie...we live, we die and the wheels on the bus go round and round wow! so in the grand scheme of life does it really matter what other people think?

life is a book, and this is your chapter, do with it what you want. just because we wont travel to the moon or become a great leader does not make our life less meaningful. barnes and noble is filled with millions of books on every subject, of every ethnicity, every language, everything you can imagine ..so let your life be a book ,fill the pages the way you want to...

because when its all said and done and there are only moments til you take your last breath, will it be then that you ask yourself....why? why didnt i do that, why didnt i say what i wanted to say....what if i had one more chance? well! this is your one more chance, so take it... live it and be proud of it, because you are the author, you are the writer, you are the creator of your journey and the only way to reach the destination is to be proud of who you are... be courageous in your walk and be sure to stay strong the entire way, and the only thing you can ask of others is not to judge you along the way!

April 23, 2009

My alarm went off at 4am; it was time to get up for a 6:30am flight to Los Angeles CA. I quickly showered, threw my things into my carry on and out the door I went. As you can only imagine I was still half asleep. As I began to awaken I thought of the one question that is on everyone else's mind…."did I forget anything?" toothbrush, got it, make-up, got it, sweater for cooler evenings, got it, I think I was doing pretty good, ready to have some fun. Besides, if I had forgotten anything I could just buy it in L.A.

As I approached the security counter I threw my bags on the belt and walked through the medal detector. The security guard stopped what she was doing and asked who belonged to the red bag…oh! No! It was mine; I headed over to the "interrogation" area where my bag began to get strip searched. She so abruptly took out my shampoo, hairspray, shine spray and gel….I looked at her with fear in my eyes and said, "What are you doing with those things?" she said I'm sorry ma'am but these are not regulation size, they must be thrown away or checked in with your other luggage. but I didn't have time to go back out and check my precious hair products, but I couldn't lose them either, did she know how long it took me to put these fabulous pieces together, it took years to create the perfect hair regimen and now she is going to throw them in a large misfit bin with other over sized lonely items!!

OMG! This could ruin my trip. I wanted to cry, I wanted to grab her and say hey lady… take my blow dryer, take my sweater, take my darn boyfriend….but please don't take my hair products.

As sweat began to run down my face, I had to come to grips with this horrible situation…was this the end of the world? Almost. Could these products be replaced? Well of course but will I spend half of my time looking for them in the downtown L.A. area. Or will I have to just suck it up and make due. With only moments until boarding, I decided, and quickly I might add, that there are many other things in life more important than my hairspray and they can very well be replaced when I get home, but for now my lesson was….hold on tight to what really matters and allow the small stuff to be thrown away into the misfit bin of life. We may hurt for a while but as I would like to believe, there will always be a rainbow following a gloomy day of rain…….

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